sábado, 10 de outubro de 2009

São Paulo Survival Guide

We, from LeGauss, are all Brazilians. We are not even like monkeys and we do not live in jungle. We, specifically we from LeGauss, are people involved with math, physics, engineering and chemistry. Yesterday, 9/10, the Red Bull Racing published a São Paulo Survival Guide. There may be some lack of sense of humour, which may be explained by the fact that I AM Brazilian, but the point of this little article is to say that some people don't find it funny.

First of all, let's read the introductory paragraph.
Brazil is like a drug that Formula One can’t get enough of. With great food, powerful drinks, intoxicating music (but not as intoxicating as Caipirinha) and beautiful people, what’s not to like?
Well, there are a lot of things we can't get enough of, and São Paulo Grand Prix may be compared to one such thing; but there is no need for using drug. What about intoxicating music? C'mon, Ivete Sangalo 'intoxicate' you that much? Or that is a complaining against Funk? I just can't understand it. And... Caipirinha! Intoxicating? Let's continue with this and maybe you, the reader, will understand all of it.

The next paragraph says something about the minimalist paddock facilities. Unfortunately, I don't know it, and maybe someone can write about it.

Then, they start with the point of the whole text: "like any drug, there comes a time when it's best to Just Say No". They show a bunch of questions to which you should answer in the negative. Here are some of them:
“Is that a real Rolex?”
“Would you like an eighth Caipirinha?”
“Would you like to meet a very pretty girl I know?”
“Is that really a girl?”
“Have you considered getting by with just one kidney?”
I want to finish my article closing the great point. Look, these questions make me think... These guys, from Red Bull Racing, should stop hanging out with the same guys who made all these questions. It is not common to hear eighth caipirinha unless you are up to it; it is not common to hang out with girls who you don't know if they were born like a girl; and, finally, only a few of us heard a proposal about our kidneys. So, you from Red Bull Racing, if you really think São Paulo is a drug, just say no and don't come: I don't think we really care.

Se você não pôde ler o texto em inglês, não se importe: você não está perdendo nada.

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